That shepherd who first taught the chosen seed

The other day I was thinking about the time that Barry Bonds (I think it was) sneezed so hard that he broke his own rib. I wanted to make a joke about that, to say that I wanted to be even stronger than that, and to use a hyperbolic example to emphasize my point. I thought of a few lines, but I wasn’t sure which one was best.

First, I thought to expand the reaction to elsewhere in my body:

“I want to be so strong that when I sneeze, I break my own leg!”

Then, to elsewhere in space:

“…so strong that when I sneeze, I break somebody else’s ribs!”

Then, there’s the scatological example:

“…when I fart, I break my pelvis!”

And finally, the combination:

“..when I fart, I break somebody else’s arm!”

What do y’all think? Which one is funniest?

  1. butterflyfrenzy says:

    Why does this sound familiar? I choose the latter. I believe that’s consistant with my former vote.

  2. kschap says:

    Make the last one happen, and take video of it for me.

  3. wakingdreaming says:

    When you sneeze, an elderly man’s anus begins leaking colostrum.

  4. emohippie says:

    I like that when you sneeze, you break someone else’s ribs, but I’m not much for fart jokes, so there you have it. My husband would probably LOVE the last one.

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